‘CapEESH’
I’m sending this out to every person I know who is Italian, could be Italian, married an Italian, lived with Italians or wants to be Italian.
Let’s start from the beginning, shall we?
Come stai? Molto bene. Bon giorno. Ciao. Arrivederci. Every Italian from Italy knows these words and every Italian-American should.
But what about the “goomba” speech pattern? The words and phrases that are a little Italian, a little American, and a little slang. Words every Paesano and Bacciagaloop we have heard use, - words we hear throughout our Little Italy neighborhoods of New York or New Jersey. This form of language, the ‘Goomba-Italiano ’ has been used for generations. It’s not gangster slang terms like ‘whack’ or ‘vig’, if that’s what you are thinking—-nope, this is real Guido talk!
The goomba says “ciao” when he arrives or leaves. He says “Mama Mia” anytime emotion is needed in any given situation. “Mannaggia”, “meengya”, “oofah”, and of course, “va fongool” can also be used. Capeesh?
He uses a “moppeena” to wipe his hands in the “cuchina”, gets “agita” from the gravy and will “shkeevats” meatballs unless they are homemade from the famiglia. Always “foonah” your bread in the pot of gravy (sauce) or you will be considered a real “googootz” or a “Mezzo-finookio”.
There are usually plenty of “mamalukes” and the girl from the neighborhood with the reputation is a “facia-bruta”, “puttana” or a “schifosa”.
If you are called “cattivo”, “cabbadost”, “sfatcheem”, “stupido”, “stunad” or “strunz”, you are usually a pain in the ass. A crazy “diavlo” can give you the “malokya” (evil eye), but that red horn (contra malokya) will protect you if you use it right. Don’t forget to always say “per favore” and “grazia” and “prego”.
If you are feeling “mooshadda” or “mezzo-morto”, always head to Nonna’s and she will fix you up with a little homemade manicott’, cavadell’, or calamar ‘, or some ricotta cheesecake.
Mangia some zeppoles, canolis, torrone, struffoli, shfoolyadell’, pignoli cookies, or a little nutella on pannetone. Even a sangweech of cabacol’ with some proshoot and mozarell’ or maybe just a hot slice of peetza.
So salud’ if you have any Italian blood in you and you understood even half of what was just blogged! Then, you are numero uno and a professore of the goombas.
If you don’t get any of this, then fa Nabola with the whole thing and you are a disgraziato. Scuzi, Mia dispiachay, I didn’t mean that, Fugheddaboudit!
